Who The Fuck Is Timothy Olyphant?
Apparently FX Network has given “carte blanche” to the creative team behind these ads for the new show Justified. Which are appearing everywhere at the moment. In each instance exclaiming, “this is the new show starring… TIMOTHY OLYPHANT!”
Who? Is that even a marquee name? Because in all the video clips we’ve seen for the show, the main character is one of the unfortunately named “Stults” brothers, from the TV show 7th Heaven.
Geoff Stults
George Stults
We’re not even going to get into, “Hey, is that Jason Patric is the above clip?” Who’s been pretty much MIA since blowing his Speed 2 paycheck on producing Your Friends and Neighbors. So it’s possible he’s in it.
Maybe the Stults brothers are hiding behind a pseudonym, cribbed from some Victorian novel on the Elephant Man.
Olyphant on IMDB
Plus, what type of name is “Timothy” in the year 2010?
“Hi, I’d like you meet my friend Timothy.”
Even the most pathetic pop-culture figures are called something like “Tiny Tim,” or “Little Timmy.” Not even total sissies stoop to the flouncy phonetics of being called “Timothy.” And what the fuck is Olyphant? Has Hollywood totally eschewed the idea of a having a showbiz name? Clint Eastwood. That’s a fucking name. Timothy Olyphant? Sounds like some food-grade chemical additive.
But the name is prominently shot at you. Like it means something. Does it? Or is brand name cache something that’s passe nowadays? Has “the Mac guy” and the random, French speaking people in the opposing Microsoft ads created a “post-celebrity” era of advertising?
So let’s take a look at his credits… Maybe we just aren’t familiar with who he is.
Oh wow! You mean, THE Timothy Olyphant from Samantha Who? Wow. Shit, put his name in a huge font size and be sure to blast it top and center. Make sure that with this digital campaign, we see his name plastered everywhere. The public needs to get Olyphantitis, after seeing this!
(Imagine the photoshopped image we could place here)
Wait. What’s that? We have the wrong actor from 7th Heaven? You’re saying he looks more like Jessica Biel’s brother.
Olyphant on IMDB
"The Brother"
Posted in: General
Let he who is without stones cast the first sin. If your thousands of viewers want to see a website that defends the honor of Timothies all over the world please direct them to Pablochiste.wordpress.com
The real question here is, who the fuck are you?
You sound like a fat disgruntled neckbeard.
Judging from the quality of this entry, I’m sure the rest of your blog is garbage as well.
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?! You can’t talk about an actor like that! Like you have the A-Z idea of who Timothy Olyphant is?! Nobody gives a shit about his name! It’s his proffesional style of acting they care about! -.- Think before you touch the keyboard ever again!
I know Timothy Olyphant. He’s a freakshow. He’ll fuck anything that moves. And I do mean anything. By the way he’s not acting during his love scenes. He has written in his contract that during the love scenes he gets to fuck.
Seriously? Are you serious?
It doesn’t matter about his fucking name??
What kind of a name is Pedro Moncrief? Whether or not it’s your real name etc.
So it doesn’t feel to great does it =.=
Screw you. Because Timothy Olyphant is an amazing actor. Like literally amazing.
PLUS, to the comment above: Wtf man O.o I highly doubt you know anything.
It may be 2010 but it was 1968 when his parents’ named him, and anyway I believe everyone just calls him Tim. BTW who the fuck are you? this guy is talented and not to mention fucking gorgeous!
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