HATEBOMB: Wieden+Kennedy Rockumentary
I wish Charles Bronson was around… To fucking hunt down and murder the people involved in this YouTube atrocity. Literally. I think all he had to go on, was some Vietnam buddy of his got burgled. For that, he annihilated scores of miscreants plaguing society’s everyday venues…
Goldblum - About to get Bronsoned
In that hope… of starting some sort of online “fatwah,” I’m re-posting this viral put out by Wieden+Kennedy. In which they remind everyone that Adidas loves the World Cup. Nike apparently hates soccer and promotes it like Paris Hilton forced to write a term paper on Kirkegaard. “Couldn’t we like… just… write something funny instead?”
Yeah, if your idea of “funny” is watching the tired old chestnut of “Rock Mockumenarty,” getting ass-raped by a meeting room full of “creative” fuckwads that can’t spell the word “funny.” Literally. They must have googled “easiest comedy device for lazy YouTube videos.” And then they completely ignored the sport they were paid to pitch about.
Forget about the Muslim world going ballistic because some Dutch cartoonist took a swipe at them. Anyone who watches the beautiful game, aka “The World’s Most Popular Sport” aka “soccer” aka “football” – and then sees this condescending piece of shit will start burning swoosh effigies. Too bad Tiger still has one endorsement.
It’s like W+K took a cue from the blue denim kit that Team USA were forced to wear in the ’94 World Cup – that emphatically gave a middle-finger to the rest of the world by saying, “We hate this sport.” It’s like not one, single “creative” along the way bothered to understand anything about the sport they were paid to promote. Mind bogglingly, they got the NYC World Cup hub Nevada Smiths and the revered Chinatown soccer pitch involved in this. Which means someone at least googled “soccer.”
Hey Wieden and Kennedy. Yeah I’m not even putting your cutesy little, precious “+” plus sign in there. Because I wish that fucking thing was carved in your forehead – to remind every client that you’re a batshit-crazy cult of self-worshipers. Yes, that’s a Charles Manson reference. Billions of people around the world walk out on work for an entire month, every four years, to catch this. The UK shuts down at kickoff. Wars… Fucking wars are SUSPENDED in Africa so people can watch the World Cup. YOU DON’T FUCKING GET IT? Do you? Yet, you feel the need to remind us.
Posted in: HateBomb
I love the “chatter” this viral is building so far… If anyone else has comments, I’d like to hear ‘em
“Kudos to widen and kennedy. It’s so good to see advertising creating totally original storytelling for emerging media in a way that is seamless and integrated to the general viewing public, and not just pandering to advertising executives.”
“This is horrible. It’s like a w+k CD got stoned and watched Spinal Tap one night and woke up the next day with another great original idea. If they were taking the piss out of the genre it might be fun, but as it is it’s amateurish and, well, shitty. I wonder if they tried to sell it to Nike first.”
“As a die hard football fan I am shocked at how bad this is. Nike has spent millions if not billions of $’s trying to cement a foot hold in the culture and this is going to set them back decades.”
The primitive comedy, a primitive sport deserves. Any game where contestants celebrate after a tie obviously does not have a sophisticated fan base. Basketball, that’s a sport. We get hand puppets in our ads!
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