Tracking Social Media and Digital Advertising Hookups

Archive for the ‘HateBomb’ Category

HATEBOMB: KFC BUCKETS FOR THE CURE

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Paradox (noun): A self-contradictory statement that at first seems true

Remember when KFC had the urban myth floating around (Snopes), that they no longer referred to “chicken” on the menu and that their rebranding as “KFC” came as a result of the genetically modified, mutant stuff that they grew in a lab being legally unfit to call “chicken.” Which isn’t that crazy, when you consider the Kosher upheaval that resulted from Burger King disclosing that their white-meat Chick’n patties actually contained pork. The legal argument being that they never expressly sold it as “chicken.”

So who better to advocate for Breast Cancer, than those who deal in carcinogenic breasts all-day long? The fact eating at KFC might contribute to what eventually they support curing brings about another definition – vertical integration.

It’s almost like you can smell the bullshit emanating from the agency boardroom that came up with this fucking trash.

Does LonerBoner have to partner with whoever creates the “negative energy” meters for Scientology, to fabricate somesort of bullshit-meter / online app? Something that can weed through tweets and Read the rest of this entry »

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HATEBOMB: Reboots, Remakes and Rip Offs

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Why is it, that everything in media right now operates like the female orgasm? In that repetition is favored over innovation.

It’s gotten to the point that movie sequels are now approaching number four and Parenthood is turned into a TV show. There’s no where left to go with the sequel mentality. In 2010, it has somehow become acceptable to just start over and blatantly remake the same stuff that is already available on DVD. The good news is, that the sequel clock is now reset.

Some “reboots” recently buzzed about, are restarting the Spiderman franchise with the director of 500 Days of Summer, redoing Superman (ignoring Bryan Singer’s earlier reboot), Conan The Barbarian, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Red Dawn, Highlander, Jurassic Park, RoboCop, Daredevil… And that’s just the list mentioned this week. Sadly, the vacuous approach of just duplicating hits also basically sums up every advertising agency creative working today.

This cultural descent extends from movies to the very essence of advertising and baby-boomer marketing think – “just duplicate what’s popular.” Hence the all the recent spots from Coke, Apple and Pedigree looking remarkably similar to foreign ads and music videos. Some examples after the jump…

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HATEBOMB: Fuck Google – They’re The Evil Empire

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A lot of flack has been directed recently at China, for earlier this month invading a few GMail accounts of political dissidents and gathering information. Because of this breach of trust and lapse in common decency, Google has issued a statement rebuking this “attack” of cyber-espionage. Only Google’s open letter that they’re too ethical to stand for these violations, doesn’t really deserve a round of applause… The irony is, constant surveillance and breach of privacy is how Google makes its money. The real unsavory issue is that Google’s problem with China relates more to having a poor market share (30%) and the fact that they consider  the practice of “monitoring everyone” to be sovereign domain.

Much like the 70-minute grilling of The Phantom Menace, someone… anyone, needs to call “bullshit” on this whole altruistic notion that Google routinely invades your privacy as part of some endeavor to build a better world. You are just a fucking resource to them, with your personal profile information sold bulk to advertisers. As in Amazon ads that appear on your screen, based on your browsing history. Much like the Matrix / Daybreakers hive of bodies that are harvested in some mechanized dystopian future, each Read the rest of this entry »

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HATEBOMB: Wieden+Kennedy Rockumentary

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I wish Charles Bronson was around… To fucking hunt down and murder the people involved in this YouTube atrocity. Literally. I think all he had to go on, was some Vietnam buddy of his got burgled. For that, he annihilated scores of miscreants plaguing society’s everyday venues…

Goldblum - About to get Bronsoned

In that hope… of starting some sort of online “fatwah,” I’m re-posting this viral put out by  Wieden+Kennedy. In which they remind everyone that Adidas loves the World Cup. Nike apparently hates soccer and promotes it like Paris Hilton forced to write a term paper on Kirkegaard. “Couldn’t we like… just… write something funny instead?”

Yeah, if your idea of “funny” is watching the tired old chestnut of “Rock Mockumenarty,” getting Read the rest of this entry »

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HATEBOMB: Vice Magazine

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Picture 10Years past having any relevance, Vice is clearly now just a hollow label for sale to ANY brand looking to drop some money on a misguided “co-branding” opportunity – five years too late. Much like a hooker in heels, Vice’s branding-arm Virtue sells “access” to youthful tastemakers in a manner equally indiscriminate of who’s money they take. Though this is tasteless brand dilution, the “cool” ‘boomer agency types wearing Ed Hardy shirts on the weekend can’t spot this. To them, Vice in 2009 is totally tight with so-called “tastemakers,” “hipsters” and “youth.”  Or so says their out-of-touch media. And that logic leads to the agency equivalent of buying a knockoff Chanel purse on Canal Street.

Sadly if they caught this same train five years ago, at least it would have included doing lines in the bathroom of some downtown club, whilst palling around with the magazine’s masthead and some B-list types like Johnny Knoxville. That IS what made Vice so grand in its heyday. Some cubicle joker from Read the rest of this entry »

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HATEBOMB: Calling Bullshit on Twitter

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hate_bombTodd Barry is a cool guy, but his Twitter account looks like an HTML abortion.

Twitter is essentially a public pool, with a mix of self-promoters splashing around next to people too friendless to have access to post comments on Facebook. So you get a mix of “Jason Segel is funny. HaHaHa” and “@MaKeMon-E#MONEYhttp://moneyistgut.be!!!TOM CRUISE.” To further the pool analogy, it’s our experience that it’s better to go swim where the entire public isn’t pissing collectively.

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